Major Decisions

Chicago went splendidly. We got some great new shots to update my book. And the team was fabulous! The down side, though, was the 16 hours of driving. I thought it wouldn't be that bad, but my god! were we exhausted after that. From now on, it's going to be planes.
This week has been filled with fun, exciting things. I worked my first job for an internet company. It's basic posing, changing, and posing to show the merchandise on a body. So it's not too thrilling but it is paying which is a major plus. I also went on a casting for a couple of runway shows that will be around Kansas City and that went awesome as well. So you may get to see my fierce walk on the runways soon.
Other than that the excitement and ever-changing life of a model has sucked me back in. Now going to my little serving job just doesn't seem enough. I am tired of having meaningless people demean me just because I am their waitress. The word waitress does not mean servant but rather more of a helper or guide to having a good food experience. Also, I am tired of people just treating me like I have no brains what-so-ever. I may be pretty and tall and a model, but damn it, I'm smart. I was in honors classes in high school and I have never failed a college class so many other people out there. Now I know what you are thinking, "doesn't modeling have its demeaning ways and aren't you treated like a nobody." Well yes sometimes but you also get to collaborate with some of the most artistic people. And those people chose YOU to work with them. There may be those dumb model types, but the smart ones know how to use modeling to push their career in ways that you never could. Models have become top stylists, editors, photographers. There are so many fields that come out of modeling that no one looks at and that a degree cannot give you. School cannot give me the experience of traveling to Milan, navigating the city alone, and working with hundreds of different people on different jobs. I am sorry but school doesn't seem appealing anymore either.
All of these negative feelings may be stemming from the fact that school has taken so damn long and waitressing is a never-ending stressful job but why shouldn't I take modeling by the balls and just latch on. I am stronger, more confident, and able to deal with anything now. As a kid, I had no clue what I was doing which turned into a bad couple of months, but now I have that gut feeling that this may be my last opportunity and if I don't do it now then I never will.
With a major decision like this comes way too much thinking. I have a solid life in Kansas City. The best boyfriend a girl could possibly have, the cutest dog, a decent paying job, school, a lease. I mean I have it all right in my hands.  If I do full-time modeling, then I may not be home for 60 days at a time. I'd miss some major holidays with my man that we've been excited about for months. I would go back to traveling by myself to foreign countries with younger models, but some major things could come out of that. There is such promise and such uncertainty with modeling that I am getting a migraine trying to figure out what to do.
Lots of thinking in the next 24 hours. Let me know what you think!